Another Shot At Love Page 20

  “Oh, God,” I whispered and clutched the hand towel to my queasy stomach. I took a deep breath then said to the door, “Yeah, sorry. I was just washing my face.” I scrambled to take the face wash from the cabinet above the sink. “I’ll, uh, be out in a second.”

  “Oh. Okay, sorry. I was just a little worried because Roxanna keeps calling your phone. Now she’s calling mine since you didn’t answer yours. She said to check on you because, uh, you might have had a seizure.”

  I groaned. What the hell was Roxanna up to now? Why my friend needed to talk so urgently, I hadn’t a clue. But what she’d managed to accomplish was to make me look like some kind of major medical liability. I squeezed my eyes shut and counted to five.

  “No seizure,” I assured through the door.

  “Do you…get seizures often?”

  “No,” I said quickly. I would tackle Roxanna when I saw her next. “I’ve never had a seizure in my life. She just worries because she has…an anxiety disorder.” It wasn’t as if Roxanna didn’t deserve it. Seizures? Really?

  “Oh, okay.” He still sounded worried.

  I wrung the hand towel in my hands and said, “It takes me a long time to wash my face because of…the mascara. I’ll be out in just a minute.” I quickly took to scrubbing my face clean of makeup. When I straightened, my reflection was flushed pink and I looked about sixteen. I dug through my makeup bag, muttering, “I’m going to strangle you, Roxanna Leigh Moss.”

  I applied eyeliner and mascara and a touch of pink lip gloss and eyed my reflection critically. Much better. And hopefully I didn’t look like a woman who’d just had a seizure for ten minutes in the bathroom.

  I can’t go through with this. Sighing, I shoved the makeup back in the bag. There was too much pressure involved in Operation Seduction and failure wasn’t an option. Now that he was worried about me seizing, I doubted sex was on the top of his mind. It wasn’t on the top of mine anymore; I didn’t exactly feel sexy after all that.

  I rushed out of the bathroom and ran straight into Matt’s chest. He caught me to him with a laugh, one arm around my back, the other holding onto a cell phone. “Whoa,” he said.

  “Sorry.”

  “No, I’m the one who’s sorry. I didn’t want to bother you, but it’s Roxanna. Again. She said I needed to come and get you. She said it’s an emergency.” He handed me the phone.

  I put the phone to my ear and stared at the wall to keep my eyes away from Matt’s. “Yes?”

  “What are you doing?” Roxanna asked. “You’re being weird. He’s going to think you’re a freak.”

  “Yeah, well, I wonder why.” I pinched my eyes shut and talked myself out of a migraine. My voice strained, I said, “Thank you for your concern, though. I’m fine.”

  “Well, are you going to do IT or not? Did you wear the black lingerie or the teal set?”

  I turned my back on Matt in case he noticed my anxiety to walk down the hall back toward the living room. I didn’t think he could hear Roxanna’s voice through the phone, but I wasn’t taking any chances. I could feel him behind me, following. I veered to the kitchen and he went toward the living room. Ducking around the corner into the kitchen, I hissed, “What is wrong with you? Seizures?”

  “I couldn’t think of anything else more urgent. A seizure is better than him thinking you were doing a number two…”

  My eyes widened. “Yeah, you’re right.”

  “What are you doing hiding in the bathroom anyway? That’s weird,” she said. “Are you trying to sabotage Operation Seduction?”

  “It’s not happening.” I opened the fridge and rattled around inside so Matt wouldn’t wonder if I were having a seizure in the kitchen, too.

  “What do you mean, it’s not happening?”

  “It’s. Not. Happening,” I enunciated.

  “Why not?”

  “I just spent ten minutes talking myself out of a panic attack,” I whispered as I took a beer from the fridge. I twisted off the lid. “It was horrible.”

  One big swallow took care of most the contents.

  “You are making this into a bigger deal than it has to be. Seriously, relax. It’s just sex.”

  But it was not just sex. It was hot, hot, hot sex with Matt. “I don’t want to come on too strong or move too fast. He’s not ready for a relationship right now.”

  I imagined Roxanna’s eye roll. “He’s not a virgin, Gen. You aren’t corrupting a choir boy.”

  “I just really like him,” I whispered, listening to any sound from the living room. The only thing worse than the seizure scare would be for him to walk in on this conversation. “I don’t want to screw things up.”

  “Yeah, well, if he gets a taste of you he’ll get over his post-divorce stress disorder,” Roxanna insisted and crazy me actually considered her argument. “Do it. You know, bump uglies, the nasty, the—”

  Matt appeared, his arms full of takeout containers, and I said too loudly, “Okay!” I smiled and hoped it didn’t look like a grimace. “Thanks for calling, Rox. I’ll talk to you later! And don’t worry about that rash; I’m sure it’ll go away. Bye.”

  Matt raised his brows and I shrugged. Payback was the single most satisfying thing in Roxanna’s and my friendship.

  “Everything okay?” Matt asked and I nodded, trying for a nonchalant smile.

  “Oh yeah, everything’s great.” The empty beer bottle in my hand said otherwise. I’d only been in the kitchen maybe five minutes and I’d chugged it down. Classy. “Would you like a beer?”

  “Sure, thanks.” He set the containers down and I opened the fridge to take out two more beers. I felt the heat of his body before I felt his hand on my waist. “Thanks for inviting me over for supper.”

  The feel of his hand against the thin material of my dress reminded me of all the things I’d been imaging doing to him when Operation Seduction was still a go.

  “You’re the one who supplied the food, and it was wonderful. Thank you.” I turned in his arms and he cupped my hips with his hands, pulling me against him.

  “I remembered you said you love sushi,” he said, and I couldn’t take my eyes off of his lips. He hadn’t kissed me yet tonight. “What did Roxanna really want?”

  “I think she’s bored.”

  “Bored? Is that it?” The corners of his lips twitched with a smile, just enough for the dimples to appear. Almost as if he had an idea what Roxanna’s and my conversation had really been about.

  Impossible. The guy was pretty amazing, but he didn’t have super power hearing.

  “She’s helping her cousin out at his PI firm tonight and must be low on work or something.”

  “PI firm? Sounds interesting.” He leaned in closer and I held my breath in anticipation.

  “If you’re normal, it would be interesting,” I said and licked my lips. He was so close.

  “Roxanna isn’t normal?” He asked and bent his head closer, his lips landing on my jaw line, his kiss whisper-soft.

  “No, she’s not normal.” I closed my eyes. “She’s nosy and enjoys it too much.”

  Which reminded me of the background investigation Roxanna had done on Matt. My eyes flew open. I doubted Matt would find Roxanna’s invasion of privacy funny at all, but it was hard to think when his lips were doing illegal things to my skin. Didn’t he know how he drove me mad? I was officially confused because what this was—what we’d been doing for the last three weeks—I didn’t think really qualified as friendship status. Friends did not kiss like this.

  And a friend shouldn’t make me feel the way I felt with him. I shivered and clung to his arms, my head tilted slightly back to give him full access to my neck, the skin tingling with every brush of his lips. The man knew his way around a woman’s body and he hadn’t even gotten under my shirt yet.

  I wanted to ask him about us, because I needed to know what we were doing. Especially since I was already struggling with the idea of tearing off my clothes and throwing myself at him. I wanted to ask about his ex-wife.
I needed to know these things. But how could I ask about a woman I wasn’t supposed to even know about?

  I swallowed and told myself to pull it together. You need to be strong, Imogen Mae. It didn’t matter that the feel of his body against mine, his lips on my skin, made my knees weak. Honestly, had I no self-control at all? I placed my hand against his chest and stepped back. I cleared my throat and said, “I, uh, rented us a movie.”

  “Aliens?” He quirked a smile and I took another safe step back. The more distance I put between us the less likely I would cave before finding out some answers.

  You have to ask before you’ll ever find out. Which was a major dilemma—I was too scared to ask either one of the questions I desperately wanted answers to.

  You are such a chicken.

  “No aliens,” I said with a sheepish smile. “I have a…friend who works at the movie rental place. He insisted this new vampire movie is a must-see.”

  Actually, Richard’s words were more like “kick ass” and he wouldn’t let me leave the movie rental store without it in my hands. Since we were practicing this new friend business and since he’d already scouted out a few chicks in the week he’d been employed there, I thought the least I could do was to leave with his movie recommendation. The blurb on the back of the DVD read interesting.

  “A must-see,” he said and flashed his dimples. “Well then, I can’t wait.”

  I took his hand and led him out of the kitchen. “I don’t know. It’s vampires.”

  “Do you think you can handle vampires any better than aliens?” he asked and then laughed when I glowered at him. “Hey, I’m just asking. You said you had nightmares from that movie.”

  “I think I was more worried about your whiplash.” I picked up the remote off the coffee table. Matt lounged in the corner of the couch with his legs out, his arm resting on the arm of the chair, and he looked so damn good I had to jerk my gaze away.

  “Are there any guns in this movie?” he asked hopefully.

  “You are such a guy,” I laughed. “I have no clue. There’re fangs. That’s all I can tell you.”

  I sat down beside him, wondering how close was too close. His arm rested on the back of the couch, so if I just leaned in a little to the right…

  I could feel his eyes on my face. “I doubt I’ll be paying much attention to the movie.”

  Oh hell, what did he mean by that? Were we going to make out like horny teenagers? I cleared my throat, “You, uh, want the lights on or off?”

  My voice had grown husky and he’d have to be deaf not to hear it, or guess as to what I was thinking about.

  “Off,” he said, his lips so close to mine, and then switched the lamp beside him off.

  The room was dark now, only the TV screen to light the living room as movie previews played. I pretended to be interested in what was on the screen, but my mind was on the way the fingers of his hand traced slow circles on my arm.

  “Have you heard from your ex?” he asked.

  I shook my head. “No. Not for a few days.”

  “He shouldn’t be calling you at all if he thinks we’re dating,” Matt said, a hard edge to his voice. I thrilled at the idea of him being jealous—horrible, I knew, but thrilled just the same.

  “Brent doesn’t think like normal people.” I shrugged. “He’ll eventually get bored with the work he’s putting into it and move on. What about you?” I asked, hoping I sounded uninterested. “Do you have a nightmare ex in your past?”

  I held my breath for his answer.

  “Not really.”

  My heart fell. So Matt wasn’t perfect. Just another guy who lied about his past. The disappointment was so intense, so utterly disheartening that I couldn’t even look at him.

  “Oh, well, that’s good,” I murmured.

  “I do have an ex, though.”

  “You do?” I let out a breath of relief.

  “I was married for three years. We were separated for the last year. Our divorce is just now final,” he said and I could tell from his expression he’d misinterpreted my silence for something else. He was quick to add, “Does that bother you?”

  My gut reaction was to stand up and do an awkward booty dance, which wasn’t at all the appropriate reaction for a maybe-girlfriend-but-more-than-likely-just-a-friend. Worry creased his brow so I pulled my legs up to sit cross-legged to face him.

  “I have to confess something,” I said.

  “What?”

  “Okay, first of all, I’m not a freak.”

  “Okay…”

  “And it wasn’t my idea.”

  “Should I be worried? This sounds serious.” I could almost hear the wheels turning in his head.

  “Roxanna and Lexie were worried…”

  “Okay,” he said while I struggled with how to say the rest. There was a hint of a smile on his lips as he waited for me to speak.

  I took a deep breath and forged on. “They were worried you might be a psycho. You know, one of those twenty-something single white males who tortures animals or might secretly be a serial killer.” I hurried to take his hands, just in case he bolted before I could finish. “It’s just, they thought it was weird you showed up to my parents’…after our—” I cleared my throat. “—you know, that first night.”

  Matt laughed and drew my hand up to his lips, kissing it with our fingers entwined. “Spit it out, Gen. I promise I won’t be very surprised at anything you have to say, given our history.”

  I caught my bottom lip with my teeth. Finally, I said, “Okay. Well, they decided to run a background investigation on you.”

  I couldn’t read his expression. It was blank. Completely void of any emotion. Nothing. My right eye started twitching.

  This is really, really bad.

  “So you knew about my divorce?”

  I nodded.

  “Okay, then.” He said and his lips cracked a smile.

  I stared at him, confused. “That’s it?”

  He picked up the remote from between my crossed legs. “Saves me the time of explaining the details.”

  He pressed Play on the remote, his eyes on the TV.

  I crinkled up my nose and stared at him. He didn’t seem bothered at all by it.

  “Matt,” I said. “You should be furious. It was a breach of your privacy. Big time. It was way out of line. And I shouldn’t have looked at any of it. I mean, there was a lot in the envelope, but I only actually saw your college transcript and the divorce papers. I didn’t read them, though. I mean, not really. Not much.”

  You sound like an idiot. My speed-talking had probably broken some kind of record.

  “It’s fine. If there was something I wanted to hide, I’d be worried. But I’m not. There’s nothing in my past I’m ashamed about, Gen. And honestly, if I had the resources and ability, I’d do the same thing if it were my sister. I feel helpless not being around to interrogate the guys my sister dates, wondering constantly if they’re good enough for her or if they’re safe for her to be around. I get it.”

  I stared at him, his face lit by the glow of the TV, the shadows moving across his face as the scenes changed. “You’re kind of perfect, you know that?”

  “I’m glad you think so.”

  I couldn’t take my eyes off his dimples. “Thanks for not being mad at me.”

  “I don’t think I could ever be mad at you. You’re too cute.”

  I smiled like an idiot, too happy for words. There weren’t any secrets between us, and it was liberating. I felt light as a feather as I settled in beside him. And then I started wondering why their marriage hadn’t worked out. The possible reasons ate at me and pretty soon my back was stiff with pent-up questions.

  “What’s on your mind?” he asked and placed his hand on my shaking leg. I hadn’t even known I was shaking it until he’d touched me.

  “Nothing,” I lied, and kept my eyes on the TV. It was none of my business—if he wanted me to know, he’d tell me.

  “Gen,” he said.

&nb
sp; And I blurted, “Why did you get divorced?”

  He tucked a strand of pink hair behind my ear. “My relationship with Sarah had always been rocky. Looking back, I know that now. We shouldn’t have even gotten married; we were so up and down. We were together five years and for some reason we just kept going. But then my mom was diagnosed with cancer and I wanted so badly to give her grandchildren before she died.” He swallowed hard and my heart constricted. “Sarah knew how much I wanted kids, and not just because I wanted my mom to hold her grandchild before she passed away. After we got married though, Sarah decided she didn’t want kids.”

  “Not at all?” I couldn’t imagine it, not wanting little ones. I’d always planned to have at least four of my own. With all the girls in my mom’s family, and the fact my parents hadn’t been able to have any boys before my mom was told she couldn’t have any more kids, I figured it might be four before I had a boy. And I wanted a little boy, someone to send fishing with my dad.

  “No, she said having kids would tie her down.”

  “God, that sounds selfish,” I said and was embarrassed at the horrified tone to my voice. “I’m sorry. I just can’t imagine thinking of my own children as ‘tying me down.’”

  “Me either,” he said. “We tried couples therapy for a year, but when she finally admitted that bit about not wanting to be tied down, I just couldn’t try anymore. We both want different things and that will never change.” His eyes had grown distant, focusing on the dark wall across the room. “I hadn’t wanted to tell my mom I was getting divorced, not when she was so sick, but she was happy. She told me she’d always felt Sarah and I weren’t right for each other. She wanted me to find a love like she had with my dad. They were always laughing.” His lips turned up with the memory. “Raygan and I used to find them slow dancing in the kitchen; she always had the radio turned on to country or an oldies station.”

  My throat was so tight, it was hard to breathe. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing one of my parents, and he’d had to live through losing his mom to something as horrible as cancer. I squeezed his hand between both of mine. “You’ll find that kind of love, Matt. Of course you will. And she might not be here to hold her grandchildren, but she’ll still see them from heaven.” I smiled at him, though my heart felt like breaking at the sadness in his face for the mother he’d lost only six months before. “And you’re going to be a great father.”